Decisions Decisions

My actual diagnosis is Stage 0 DCIS (ductal carcinoma insitu).  You might be wondering what that actually means..  It means the cancer cells are isolated to one of the milk ducts in my left breast.  This is a good thing, when it comes to cancer diagnosis as I’ve been reassured over and over again.  What followed after receiving this diagnosis is a flurry of doctors appointments to validate the diagnosis from the biopsy.  These consisted of an MRI and genetic testing to confirm if I was positive for the BRAC genes (or any other cancer genes).  These additional diagnostic tests and the results of them play a huge role in determining my treatment plan.  The MRI validates the original diagnosis and that it is not invasive; ie outside the milk duct and genetic testing looks into any other risk factors in my family history.

Then there is this pesky little thing called Estrogen.  Who knew Estrogen played a role in cancer cell growth.  My biopsy results initially said that Estrogen didn’t play as a big of a role as maybe one might want.  Reason being is there are great proactive treatment options, like taking an Estrogen Blocker which help to prevent future growth.  But for me, 5% positive for estrogen essentially means a negative.

Then there is my amazing care team, Dr. C and Dr.Sadowski..two women I might add. Can I get an amen?! Both of these women are phenomenal and I am so happy they came into my life.  Dr. C is responsible for removing the cancer cells and Dr. Sadowski puts me back together. Both were so thorough in going through everything; the cancer itself,all of the treatment options and answering all of our questions; so that we could make major decision on my treatment in a very short period of time.  I had to make a decision on one of these 3 options:

1. Lumpectomy: this is just removing the cells (which is 3.5 centimeters) and reconstructive surgery.  Additionally, this would require radiation and taking one of those Estrogen blockers for the next 5 years.  Not gonna lie, I didn’t love this option but I would let it sink in.
2. Single Mastectomy & Reconstructive surgery – This would be removing the entire left breast and complete reconstructive surgery.  Radiation and Estrogen blockers; not a requirement here.  This sounds a bit more up my alley but does require more recovery
3. Double Mastectomy & Reconstructive surgery – This is removing both breasts and reconstructive surgery on both sides.  Radiation & Estrogen blockers are also not a requirement here.  This is an incredibly aggressive surgery but would certainly help to lower any future reoccurrences to breasts.

While trying to make my way through doctors appointments and all of these decisions was something called Christmas.  Allie and Coop still fiercely believe in Santa and Elfy so Bryan and I were trying to make this as magical as it could possibly be.  Not gonna lie..this was hard.  I wasn’t in the spirit whatsoever.  Christmas shopping, moving the dang elf every night..were incredibly challenging as my head wasn’t in the game..at all.  We made it through (with a lot of help and a lot of love).  Gratitude post coming later

My Decision..

Right out of the gate, a lumpectomy is off the table for me. I’m too much of a hypochondriac and would have a lot of anxiety with the lumpectomy and yearly mammograms. I also am not fan of taking medications..ask Bryan how good I am at taking vitamins.  And radiation just seems so very toxic to me.  This option would also require reconstructive surgery on the left side so that I might have some symmetry when all is said and done.  I never thought something like this would matter but in the end it did when faced with losing a part of you are; a part of your identity.

I ultimately made the decision to have a bi-lateral mastectomy + reconstructive surgery.  For me this removes all but a 1% risk of reoccurrence which feels like the best option.  I’m only 43 and still have so much life to live!  If I can get rid of any risk I can..I will.  And hey..while I’m at it, I can get a new set of girls for myself.  Kidding aside, this was a decision Bryan and I talked long and hard about.  Ultimately it was up to me and in a matter of week, the decision was made.  Crazy to think that such a life changing decision must be made in such a short period of time.  It took us longer to decide on buying our house and buying our cars.  I guess this puts everything in perspective that when it comes down to it and your life is on the line, you have to get educated and weigh your options at a fast pace. 

This decision will come to fruition on 1/17/19.