Spring is in the air

Happy Spring! 

Spring is truly a time for rebirth and boy oh boy does that warm sunshine feel good.  

I’ve been back to work now for 3ish weeks and am back on the path of trying to finding that thing called balance. This was a struggle prior to surgery and continues to be, but am doing my best to navigate work-life, mom-life, wife-life, etc. I have to say though, it has been so WONDERFUL getting back into a regular schedule (minus the 5:30a alarm going off), seeing so many friendly and familiar faces and challenging myself in new and different ways. It has helped to get me back to a place of “normalcy” if there is such a thing.  With Spring now here, I’m looking forward to being outside more with baseball and softball seasons right around the corner and cheering on Allie and Coop!

I am in a bit of holding pattern with this journey.  My tissue expanders are now full, so now we wait.  We wait for the last bit of swelling to go down and then we can schedule the next surgery.  My plastic surgeon said I can expect the next  (and hopefully final) phase of this to be complete by mid summer (July).   This journey, while relatively short has given me a wild ride to say the least.  In the spirit of being more positive, one of those ups that occurred recently was while I was getting my hair done. This crazy head of hair requires me to stay pretty regular with haircuts and I typically go every 12 weeks. What was symbolic about this moment is that I received my cancer diagnosis on my way home from getting my haircut on 12/14/18.  This most recent haircut was a celebratory moment as it was exactly 12 weeks after my diagnosis, surgery and hearing the words “you are cancer free.” That moment gave me great pause and forced me to think long and hard of everything that has gone on in the past 12 weeks. So much has been turned upside down and then right back up.  But in that moment I also recognized how lucky I am, how grateful I am and how incredibly fortunate I am, as my story isn’t always the story that is told. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed the happiest of tears.  Trying to describe that moment is hard but it is indeed a moment that gives me chills and makes me well up just thinking of it.  But again..all HAPPY tears!!

There are so many things that I am learning from this journey. I am learning to slow down. To stop and watch more. To take time for me. To be more patient (when I am able). And, to jump to conclusions less. But, I am still coming to terms with this new body of mine and how to live life to its fullest while trying to hush the nagging voice inside me that says “what if it comes back.” I am trying to accept that I can’t control what might happen, but I will try my hardest to live my best life despite it and not live in fear of it. I’ve learned to never take my friends for granted. There are so many of you that I need to make a better effort of spending more time with. And I’ve gained this incredibly large community of family that I treasure more than I could have imagined. Without all your words of encouragement, texts to check in on me, meals, rides for Allie and Coop, phone calls, gifts, treats, cards, hugs… I could keep going and going. I’m trying desperately to make sure each and every one of you know how much I appreciate YOU for being there and keeping me strong these past few months.

Much love! 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗